Misplaced expectations

How could they do that?
Did I ever know them?
I can’t believe that this is you.
Most people say this when someone close to them acts or does something that seems to you anyways out of character. Like Tom helping Jerry, or a waiter adding 5 extra fries to your happy meal (yes, please). This is because we all set expectations on the people we meet and have in our lives. These expectations for better or worse are set to protect ourselves from any physical or emotional hurt. No one likes asking for help and being viciously denied like when you asked your parents for money or a car. So we quickly sort people into groups and build mental blocks of each person we know.

Separating the expectation from the person isn’t easy, especially if you have a strong image of them built in as provider, protector, bestie, or serpent from the darkest pit in hell. These expectations help us anticipate what the person would do all for the safety of the predictable. On the other hand, they prevent us from noticing the small changes and glitches in the matrix. They obscure who the person is or has become.

She will always tell me the truth, I can rely on Him to have my back. But this isn’t true of who humans are, they aren’t fixed and always consistent like the email telling you your subscription is about to expire in 5 days (I know, I pay for it). People make mistakes, they grow and change for better or worse. They are simple but yet complex at the same time comparable to a hamburger. And it’s on our part regardless of the expectations and ideas we have of them to see and accept them for who they are, not what we think or wish for them to be.



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Benjamin Mwila Chitakwa

Benjamin Mwila Chitakwa

Writing about our beautifully complicated amazingly simple lives and sharing ideas