Bad things Happen and will always Happen but they shouldn’t be the Focus
Have you ever had one those days which feel like they were scripted for you? Like they are in every way perfect. Things just seem to be going the right way for you, to the point where you actually start to worry if something will go wrong or something has to go wrong, it is too good to be true. Well I have and still do, it is interesting to think that after wanting things to go my way for the longest I get worried about nothing because there is nothing to worry about. Almost like it is a crime not worrying and having things going the right way for you. It is crazy right, but it is true.
But then something does go off or wrong. And then your mind fixates on that one wrong thing like it is the center of your universe. If it isn’t fixed your whole universe will fall to shambles. This was me after receiving test scores of A’s and B ’s then there was one shocking and out of place C. The moment I saw the C the rest of the grades didn’t matter, they vanished into the backdrop on my mind and were forgotten quicker than this morning’s tweets. That one oddball ruined the whole day for me. After that I spent most of my time ruminating on how and why I got this grade, forgetting it was just one thing off, out of an otherwise pretty good sheet in my opinion.
Thinking about this made me realize that we have an affinity to focus on and exaggerate the weight of the wrongs/errors/defects/ bad attributes and other negatives, more than on what is actually right/ good/ working well or just okay in our lives. Heck, we barely notice the things that are good and alright most of the times. It is like they don’t exist or never happen. Only when deprived of them do we think back and say oh that thing was actually something. Like children who reach maturity and are finally living on their own realize how sweet a deal they had living under a roof they didn’t have to pay a single bill for, adulthood is the biggest lie. Tracking back to the magnification of the unwanted, unexpected, undesired and so on. The surprising thing is that whether these happen or not most of the times doesn’t matter because we tend to expel energy on them regardless. This worrying or fear results in a sort of paralysis, leaving one unable to do anything else.
A common encounter for anyone who has had an idea is taking that idea from your head and bringing it into reality. You start with the energy of nuclear bomb as you blast through the creation process then, suddenly, you reach this roadblock. Sometimes it’s the difficulty in the execution, other times you worry that it isn’t as good as you think it is, so you worry how people will react and what they will say in the process digging a hole trying to find even more reasons something won’t work. Paralyzing yourself and the idea at the same time. Whatever it is that is not as we desired, we will tend to give it more importance or power so to say than it does deserve over us, and our perception of things and others.
One way that I have found works best for me in a moment of loathing over something is to switch my focus. A deliberate act of focusing on what is good or even just okay in my life at that time makes the biggest difference. There is a word for that called gratitude. It is a well known to most religious people that God whispers and Satan shouts, so the bad stands out and the good sits in the corner or at the back of the class like a shy kid patiently waiting to be noticed by someone or anyone. By active participation in looking for what is good in one’s life diminishes that scale and relevance of some setbacks and upsets. You have got to fill your good tanks beforehand so that when the bad fires start you can keep them at bay.
But of course, some worry and focus on the errors is good and necessary. To allow you to prepare beforehand mentally and physically. To allow us to be prudent in some situations. People who seem to be better off aren’t better off because they have fewer negatives in their lives, but because they choose which ones to expend energy on, and have their focused tuned in to what is right in their lives and the world they live in.
This article probably bounced around a bit because I was worried about making mistakes but nevertheless I think the pros outweighed the cons. Hope you enjoyed reading and are less focused on the negatives in our lives.
